Andres Garzoria
1923 - 2013
It is with great sadness that I have to report the passing of Toni's Father, Andres Garzoria. This post is dedicated to his memory.
12 years ago, when Toni and I were still dating, I made the trip to Brownsville for the first time to meet Toni's family. Coming from a small family, I was nervous about meeting her very large family and like most men meeting their girlfriend's father for the first time, I was concerned about making a good impression. On the drive down, I tried to figure out what I could talk about with a man who was nearly 50 years my senior. My thoughts went back to my college years and a professor I once had who told me that talking to people is easy. Everyone he said, has a favorite subject and for everyone it's the same - themselves. Get someone talking about themselves and the rest will be easy he would say. With that strategy I started thinking about the big events Andres had seen during his life that we could talk about and one stood out immediately. Andres would have lived through the Great Depression and World War 2. I was sure that if I steered the conversation in that direction, we'd have hours of stuff to talk about.
Our first meeting came during lunch. We took Andres to Rudy's for bar-b-que. Toni did most of the talking at first but when my chance came, I unleashed my secret weapon. "Toni tells me that you grew up in the Great Depression. What was it like?" I asked. He paused. Put his hands together and started thinking. I prepared for what I was sure would turn into a story that would take several hours to tell. Then he looked down and said….. "depressing". And that was it. Nothing more, no story, just one word! We talked more over the years but that first conversation will forever be in my memory. He was a man of few words and wasn't the easiest person to get to know. But if you invested the time, it was well worth it.
It’s definitely been hard for Toni these last couple of weeks and while we will both miss Andres, I will forever remember the good times. I will remember a man who at 84 sat in a hospital waiting room for over 16 hours to see Caitlin when she was born. I will remember a man who bought a 50 inch TV to watch Lawrence Welk re-runs and Wheel of Fortune. I will remember watching movies with him and having to explain the plot because he fell asleep during the middle hour of the movie. I will remember a man who asked to talk to the girls every night Toni would call him. I will remember a man who had more pictures of my children up in his house than I have in mine (or pretty darn close). I will remember him as the most selfless person I’ve ever met. He would sit in his house with 1 light bulb on and no air conditioning in the middle of summer trying to save money but whenever anyone needed something, was always there. I will remember him asking me repeatedly to take him to "that place with the wings" (Hooters). And I will remember a man whose heart was truly as big as his appetite.
At the end of a person's life, its often normal for those left behind to question life. What's the purpose? Why are we here? Does it even matter? I believe those questions can be answered with another - Did you leave things better than you found them? I believe he did. Andres lived an incredible life. He had 9 children, 30 grandchildren, 34 great-grandchildren and even 1 great-great-grandchild! I don’t think there’s any question that the world and the people around him are better for having known him. To me, Andres lived a good life and I am thankful for the 12 years that I had the privilege of knowing him. There’s a saying that women search out and marry men who remind them of their Father. If that’s the case, I am truly humbled.
